When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.ORYou can retire to New York City where...You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.You think Central Park is “nature.”You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.You’ve worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)You think eye contact is an act of aggressionORYou can retire to Minnesota where...You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.You have seventeen recipes for casserole.Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.The highest level of criticism is “He is. Jus' sayin'...” With her pen, Kristin tapped the desk where the documents were and said: “Sign.” Sitting down and almost-broken, Dan said: “Between this and losing my gun...I'm going to look like an idiot..my career will be over.” Kristin took off her hipster glasses, looked at Dan with a no-nonsense look on her face and said: “Being a rookie cop for the rest of your life is better than the alternative – a long term prison sentence, that includes getting fucked in the ass by a big Black guy...” Looking off to the side with a quizzical look on her face, she asked rhetorically: “Is that racist ? Maybe. Anyway it's hot.” Looking back at Dan, Kristin continued sweetly: “And I have enough influence, that I could make that happen for you; in fact I could arrange for you to have four big Black guys as cellmates and have the guards feeding them Viagra & oysters.” Standing over Dan (who was now trembling), Kristin continued to paint a picture with words: “Four big Black.
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